We hope


The best day of my life again! I’m too surprised to feel the joy as I stare at misty eyes and bumbling words, within moments it sinks in. oh wow! Oh no..again too many problems that need a solution . Bah! who cares, it’s just awesome. It was so cool that moments ago we were discussing the 2 most important life goals for each other while feeling despair in not being able to reach them. Now, it’s all changed…

I hope know that this post will break the most unbelievable streak of chronic procrastination. Let the words go….








Eyes dancing

trying to twinkle

through a

misty joy

My questions

run into a


What do you say


you don’t know what to say

a kiss and a hug

is the only way


life is here



It’s Peaceful

Soft music playing

Eyes are misty


I don’t need them open

to see you

My fingers caress the air

now and then

I don’t need to actually touch

to feel you


My fingers still raise

I know not



Every-time they raise

 a surge,

of love?

Doesn’t matter what

“I smile”

After 4 years

I still feel the same



much more

it is no longer


love doesn’t cause this


spontaneous welling up,

to my surprise

a drop falls

followed by another

This is not supposed to happen

I’m a man!

strong and willful


I now know


what I knew all along

I’m just not in love

this is life


no longer

what is life




Mine flew with you

So don’t despair

my love

You have company,

It is I

He was lying in the bed, thinking, for the 1000th time, it seemed – Why couldn’t he just write. “Why in the Hell’s name can’t I write. Damn you! . You are going to die miserable with the pen still in the pocket”.

The signals were all there. He couldn’t work, his life was in pause. His wife almost gave up on him and He…Well that was one thing he was NOT doing – giving up hope. He could never do that, despite all evidence of loafing around, escaping into the world of sexual gratifications, playing games for mindless hours, keeping busy with chores. These were one of the few things that distracted his mind from the real problem.

This was like the worst nightmare and just as in a dream, the real one could see himself running around trying to dodge the real questions. Just like the game he was playing, he was running towards his enemy, his worst ever. He just had to shoot down that doppelgänger who was causing all the misery. but in the last moment fear made him turn aside for a brief second and that was it. He lost again.

So many thoughts, thoughts just kept pouring out. The whole world around him was sleeping, but he could not, every night he made a wish “One day God. Just one day, I would like to get up and be the artist that I desire to be”. But then it would be morning and his groundhog day would start, just as in the movie.


Now there was screaming. It was his own, but for the outside world it never came up. His heart was tearing up inside, he was swallowing the scream of frustration and it was imploding inside.

and then calm….

He knew what he had to do for now, this night, this moment. A little sunshine through his darkest storm. All he had to do is just get up and write something.

He decided not to think, not to try hard, not to get excited or depressed, not to get hopeful. There is no emotion. He just had to type something.

and this is what he did and doing…”I’m ok now. You can stop!”

And so this piece is done and sent out to the world RAW…

Thank You Steven Pressfield for your wonderful book “theWarofART“. For all the people out there, who have even the slightest inclination or the desire to create something, this book is a wonderful gift to yourself.

Simple Truth



were always easy


was always hidden


as they sound


Words pour out

just to


at the edge of my




My Heart demands

“Not Now”

My Brain throws back

“But it is the truth”


The struggle

was a year


always losing

society, family, religion

were reasons

against it


was the only strength

for it


Twenty Ten

was all then

Now in ’11

is when

I tell myself




the world

what is

simple and true


my words

honest and humble


my angel

beautiful and true


I, as flawed as possible

love, as more than ever

You, for now and forever

Sushma, the first ray


my new dawn!


in our code 🙂


This was part of Jingle’s Thursday poetry rally.

Thanks Jingle


This poem won me the perfect poet award at Jingle’s week 37 Rally. I nominate Kavita for the next week.


A poem for you

is worth all the awards from the world

A word from you

is worth all the words from the world

A smile from you

is worth all the happiness from a flower

love from you

is worth all the good things of this life

Two Words



From US

Thank You!


I was staring down a path which looked impossible to step into. Large dark boulders gleamed beneath the rushing waters. Standing on a 3-inch ledge, I was half a step away…This was the edge of my world.

One step would change my life forever or end it NOW.

and then I stepped back.

Simple drive

We were just driving back to Hyderabad from my home city, Vijayawada.

We crossed a canal. It looked nice, brimming with water, but I was in a hurry. Another one came up shortly and I crossed that too. Only, my friend wanted a closer look.

I turned back….

The first touch

Just like most water bodies with bridges in India, this canal also had steps leading to water on both sides of the banks.

The water looked irresistible and we climbed down to dip our hands and feet. Water looked fresh and cool to our touch.

Anytime I get a feel of beautiful water, I get an uncontrollable urge to swim around.

But there was a strong current.

I never swam in large water bodies and the strong current brought back memories of news articles of drowning young men.

Kids embarrass me

This looked like fun

There were many locals around, bathing and swimming. A few kids were using our section of steps.

They looked perfectly at home swimming around the banks. A few started getting on the bridge pillars, climbing over the bridge.

Wow! were they going to jump?

and then they leaped into the water, and dogpaddlead to the shore. I was standing there with an open mouth.

The kids were living one of my dreams. I always wanted to try this and never had the courage.

(A quick background: Very few Indians learn to swim. I was part of a very small, exclusive minority in my country)


You always hear the words “Seize the day” or “Seize the moment” . This was a good time to do that and JUMP!

“It looked scary, but the kids could do it.”

“The current! It looked too strong, what if I get swept away.”

“It was now or never.”

The kids were all smiles and egged me on. For the 100th time I asked them if it was easy, YES YES YES was all I heard then.

I ran back to the car and practically leaped into my boxers.

Chickening out!!!

I moved to the railing of the bridge. The water looked a long way off. The kids were all round me, supporting me.

Then I went over the railing and stood on the 3-inch ledge of the supporting pillar, never letting go of the railing.

Oh Man! Water appeared 50 feet away.

The current was very swift and I could see dark boulders below the water. I kept asking for assurances from the kids. They were very patient with me.

“Anna (elder brother), Jump to your left not to your right. It’s deeper”

I was frozen. This was the scariest thing I had ever done. One kid jumped from top of the railing to show me it was alright.

Suddenly my mind started making up all kinds of logical excuses, a cover-up for my fear. I wanted to test out the water with a quick swim.

I climbed back. chickened out

I went back to the steps, dived in for a quick swim. The water was cool and as expected there was a very strong current.

The cool water renewed my courage and I hurried back to my edge.

Leap of Faith

Once again, I was back at the world’s edge. My heart was going wild with excitement, fear, and what not.

I would have liked to say that my life flashed before me, but I just had one thing in my mind – the black “abyss” .

Damn! I couldn’t do it. I was frozen, stuck in this moment. Status – quo!

We came up with a countdown system




….. No Jump 😦

A 100 things were going in my mind..

“Jump! Keshav”

“c’mon you can do it”

“Jump for the blog post at least”

“Dammit! Dude, just move”


“J-U-S-T  DOOOOO……………..”

IT!..and I was off, letting go of the known world, flying through a dream, cutting through my fear.

In a second, I hit the water feet first, plunging through the depths. All sounds was cut-off. My mind blanked out, there was just one thought – I DID IT.

Even before I resurfaced, I knew this was over, I was going to swim to safety.

All of this happened in less than 2 minutes. I tried two more times. This was one my best adventures.

A video of my second jump

My support team

Next Target..Hogenakkal 🙂


Every Year

For 30

Always me

Boring me

Selfish me


This Year




There’s just




strung together

joining you




Before you



know that

this is from




An Angel




Loved me

Helped me

Saved me


gliding along


her wings of beauty



heart of gold


and my words

flowing along

up on cloud #9





Image by Iantonana

3 AM. I’m out of my bed, with this intense urge to tell the world, while at the same time, I’m shouting inside –

Follow your dreams! Be Better. Do Better!

I keep repeating these words everyday, multiple times, consciously and subconsciously. It started as an affirmation, changed to an order, became a prayer, a background noise and finally a silent scream.

Most of us have a similar version of this running in our heads, a silent scream only to be stifled by our so-called “rationale” mind.

“It is impractical”

“Stop day dreaming”

“What would your family think”

“You know you will fail”

“No clue”

But in the end, as Seth Godin says “The Lizard brain” takes over at the slightest hesitation, shoving your dreams, your art, your right for creation down the abyss of day-to-day living.

So STOP! and just hear me out.

For the last few weeks (or months) a new rationale has crept into my regular dream, which by the way, is following my passions in life.


For all the fathers and mothers or the soon-to-be ones out there, think about this reason. Our children are the most important things in our lives. We transform ourselves to selflessly give to them.

Passing on

Your children will see what you’re all about by what you live rather than what you say – Dr. Wayne Dyer

One of the most important things we try to pass on is our wisdom, a hope for a brilliant future for them.

We teach our children to live an ideal life so they can become great artists or anything. We tell them that the world has no boundaries and that our mind is limitless.

Our children are smart, they can see right through. Their love shows them who we are and if your words say one thing and your life says something else, they would learn that.

For example, this post would be more valuable if I did/doing all these things . Words without action soon lose their sheen, the world needs proof.

Set an example

Setting an example is not the main means of influencing another, it is the only means – Albert Einstein

We work hard to provide for our children. A good education, property, money and more. All to make their life easier and better.

Modeling yourself as an example is even more important.

Children whose parents have worked towards their dreams, have an easier time adapting to a similar life goal.

But most of us go after the money and we are willing to do any work (lose our integrity also) to get that. All in the name of our children.

My friends, that is the easier route. It is visible, you can tag it with numbers, 1 crore and your did it. But understanding our purpose to create or our right to realize our dream(s) is a much more confusing human aspect.

Harder, But Still…Just do it for them.

So the next time you find yourself arguing for sticking to the world’s most boring job, for your children’s sake, change tracks, convince yourself that you are good enough to pursue your dreams.

We are their first heroes. Lets follow the path that we believe in – for their sake!

I had to put this thought down, came up while I was reading the parenthood chapter from Simple Truths.

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