When I was a kid of 8-10, I remember mom used to wake me up at 5AM. Somehow it felt earlier than that. It was pitch dark outside, the sun was not up.
I always felt bone tired, I could not stay awake sitting in a chair in the living room and I was nodding off. I felt as if I had zero energy, as tired after running a 200km marathon. It never occurred to me why mom was so persistent in waking me at that ghastly hour just to make me study.
We were the only creatures awake at that time, mom and I. Everyone else was asleep, birds were asleep, the whole universe was sleeping. Just when I though there was no way i could stay conscious, a beautiful voice interrupted the silence of the morning. My mother was singing to the gods.
Mother’s voice rang with passion, humbleness, undying faith and love for the almighty. I was lucky to hear her along with the gods. My young mind did not register appreciation or significance of the morning’s music, I was too tired or annoyed of being woken up for, ‘gasp’, studying. But somehow this registered in my subconscious as a significant event of my childhood, a memory reminding me of my mother’s purity.
Two decades later
Mmy mind got jostled with the sudden realization that mom had stopped singing prayers for many years now. She still prays every single morning, much later than 5AM, but somehow she has stopped singing them out loud.
Why? Why did she stop? Was it because we all grew up and she was a little embarrassed? I don’t know and she justs shrugs when I ask her about it. Somehow my adult brain realized that this beautiful singing voice had stopped, a voice which was dearest to me in the whole world, the most familiar voice since the day I was born.
The absence of the singing has brought the old,forgotten memory into sharp focus. I never realized that those early pre-dawn mornings with just me, mom and God were so important to the foundation of my soul.
Maybe God wants me to remember this now. Why? It’s his plan and I, on the other hand, can do nothing, but write it and remember it. These words are just a small tribute to my lovely mother and a request to the mother of my yet to be born child to sing for our children.
After some searching I found 2 of them
Chandana Charchitha (my favorite)
Krishnamu mukunda (song about lord krishna)
I showed this to mom and she loved the post. She says that I have a ‘flair’ for writing. She immediately denied about ever waking me up at that early hour . The song link brings back fond memories for her and for all of us too (Oh yeah I showed the post to the rest of the family).