The world is coming to a standstill
My mind is coming to a standstill
I can’t think
I can only feel
Tears will not stop
Eventually they will run out
The sadness will continue though
I have no voice
I don’t trust my voice
I know that my heart is telling me something.
My mind, unfortunately, is not ready to understand
I know I made a mistake
I can just feel it. But I can’t understand it.
Maybe the mistake was God’s, he should have never let me be.
Maybe Maybe Maybe
There are only assumptions, questions, speculations
I’m trying so hard to understand my universe
I can’t even understand myself
The mind is at a standstill
My fingers move
My heart weeps
The mind knows, it is just a door.
Close it and another opens, the door of happiness
I can’t muster the will to close the door
I can’t or I won’t
Misery loves time, it would like to exist for eternity.
My heart is thirsting for it, it has been too long since it has tasted misery.
It wants it all, as much as can be filled, lest it may not come back.
Misery – Today you control my doors, but not for long.
When you fill up all the empty spaces, there would be no space,
soon you will be known,
soon my heart will have enough of your share.
It can’t survive, not with you there in every pore.
Instinct takes over, fear will make me puke,
out you will flow, like the scum you always were.
Begone! I know you now. You have done your job.
Now let me be myself. It is time.
Let me search for my happiness.
Let me search and know that “I don’t have to search”.
It was always there – a tiny candle burning through the legions of darkness.
Life is good. But death seems safer.
I, Human, am just afraid.
Give me an easy way out.
I’m not asking God. I’m telling him that I can ask myself.
Will I ever see Her?
Help me Keshav, you are my only hope!