Answering my Question
I remember that night. In one breath I told her I liked her and in the next, advised her to walk away. The question was from me and I answered it for her.
I was rejecting myself.
Maybe I was trying to ease the impact of the inevitable rejection or just hoping for a miracle.
But in the end she just nodded along and walked away.
My mind was in a void during the drive home. Just one thought – It all looked so tragic. Hopeless, sad, painful, despair, these were my synonyms for the night.
Something was screaming inside me, But I could not hear it. I had to keep it busy. Busy enough to forget and so I ran.
The more I ran , the harder it was beating. I wanted to drown the screaming with the beating. I kept it busy for the next 2 hours – My poor little heart.
Two days later, I was back, breaking the unsaid promise, I talked to her again. It was OK. Starting over again, now I did not reject myself. Neither did she.
But this was still a one-way street.
Working for us
It was almost a week since I professed my liking to her. Many things happened in-between, I fell in love with her. She was everywhere – in my thoughts, my words, even in my dreams.
Everyday was the same. In the night, I patiently convince her that “this was right” and the next day, all was lost that was gained in the night. Her world would come in-between, doubting all that was said. Then I would start all over again – repainting the picture of ourselves.
Waiting for a sign
Tonight was different, our usual phone conversation had to be cut short. The late night conversations annoyed her mom. I had an idea.
Me: Go to bed now and we will wake up to talk at 3AM.
I woke up with a start. Looked at the time in my phone. It was 3.26AM.
Should I call her? Maybe she was sleeping because she didn’t call at 3AM. Damn I should have waked up at 3. The moment passed and I kept the phone away.
BRRRRR! Then it rang. It was her. I picked it in the second ring. She was talking in a low voice.
Me: Sorry. I just woke up and decided NOT to call you. When did you get up?
She: Just now!
This was our sign, our miracle. We woke up at the exact wrong time – 3.26AM. This was the time where our lives were forever changed, every minute after that would be ours – TOGETHER……………..
Submitted for Tata DOCOMO OneTouch Net Phone contest.